A feeling, a knowledge, a sensation pulsing round your body, a knowing, burning idea formed into a crystal truth, the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, love and hate.
Suddenly you'll feel it and accept it or deny it.
Trust your instinct but in the next instant instinctively change your mind. The games you play when you are alone with silence, a world full of possibilities, chances, changes, mistakes, lucky breaks, decisions, resolutions, a time to form plans, create paths on which to travel, remember incidents the way you saw them, turn them back through your memory and know.
Dream a little, realistically, ridiculously, dream of pleasure, planes, places, journeys of joy, touches of beauty, gifts you'd give, presents you'd receive, of no value, just better memories. Peace in your time.
Knowing man can live together, knowing this is true while you sit alone, desperate for it to be true.
No reason to run, nor hide, the colour of your skin, the clothes you wear, it doesn't matter, together with belief and positivity it can work.
But reality dawns on you, as if the sun had risen suddenly, so quickly from night and dreams to midday and a city full of sinners like you are bathed in the light.
The struggle continues. Do you allow the dreams to fade into memory and the nightmare reality cover your eyes, or sleep through hoping both to be a dream or be hit by a knowledge that hope is truth and love is strong and you are completely mad.
Loneliness is not necessarily sad, but rarely constructive.
I both love and understand this
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