Tumbling down through the clouds only made me realise how high I had been. Above and beyond, further then I’d ever been, touching sky, stars and the sun and now, as I rolled and fell towards the darkness, I couldn't picture firm ground and so I continued to drop.
Each twist and turn emptied my stomach, a void around me and a void inside me and me watching the fall from above and below,......Below!
I tried to fill my soaring body with the feelings from the below me, the terra me, the constant me. The above me flickered once, twice then disappeared. I took control of my fall and began to float beneath the clouds but still above the earth and still descending. This gentle descent was giving me time but I didn't know what for, I couldn't work out whether I was supposed to look back at the high me or decide to land.
I looked back or up, as it were, to the clouds but couldn't find a gap, couldn't find a way through to the blue infinite. A sudden twist then the tumbling began again, over and over, flicking frightening turns I had to pretend they weren't happening so I could find the stable me and float again.
The decision was easy then and I concentrated hard on the earth me, but as soon as I locked in the rate of speed at which I fell increased to such a frightening pace that I broke off the connection and stared up past the clouds and so I remained floating gently too scared to believe in anything.
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